Inaugurating the Great White Whale

Donald pulled his coronation inauguration team together.

“OK, now, I want my ceremony to be a lot cleaner than the last two.”

“What do you mean by, ‘cleaner’, Sir?”

“I mean fewer ‘smudges’ up there on the platform.  Fewer of those ‘dirty’ looking faces.  You know, fewer servants and field hands.”

The aide was still confused.  “Sir, are you trying to say you don’t want African Americans on the platform?”

Donald exploded.  “Damn it.  This is the white peoples’ ceremony for the White House, and I don’t need any welfare cheats on my platform.”

“Sir, those people are Congressmen, Senators, and Supreme Court Justices.  You can’t throw them off.”

“Didn’t we fight a whole war just to show those slaves, and teach them to keep their place?  I thought I heard that.”

“Mr. Trump, the slave states lost that war.”

“Not if you look at who elected me.  Bigly.  And not if you see which flags are flying at my rallies. Stars and Bars.  Lots.  Big flags.  On big pick ups.  And, speaking of flags—you know those stars up there in the corner of the ‘Murican flag?  Don’t they, some way, stand for the states?”

“Yes, Sir.  One star for each of the fifty states in the union.”

“First of all, never say ‘union’ to me.  Dirty word.  Sad.  Second, for the flags on my day, take off any star that stands for a state that didn’t vote for me.  Start right now making them sorry.  So sorry.  Sad. Anyway, do we need all of those stripey banners and things all over.  Can’t we just have white stuff?  White drapes.  White banners.  And maybe a cross with a fire?”

“Sir, the Red, White, and Blue bunting is kind of traditional.”

“But I like white.  With some gold trim.”

Donald stopped for thought.  “And I get music, don’t I?  Good music.  My special song. ‘Heil to the Chief.”

“Yes, sir.  The Marine Band, known as ‘The President’s Own’ plays for the ceremony.”

“No.”

“No? Sir?”

“I want the Navy Band.  Keep with the theme.  The Navy Band uniforms are white.  Go with the white. And these are the songs they can play:

"White Christmas"
"White on White (lace on satin)"
"A Whiter Shade of Pale"
"White Lightning"
"The White Cliffs of Dover"
"Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer"
"When the White Lilacs Bloom Again"
"A White Sport Coat and a Pink Carnation"
"Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White"

And maybe some of Putin’s favorites.  I’ll have to ask him.”

“Anything else, Sir?”

“Yes.  Talk to the Chief Justice about his robe.  That black robe he wears is so dull.  So not Trump. Ask him if he can’t wear a white robe to swear me in.  If he doesn’t have a white robe, tell him to borrow one from David Duke.  He has plenty.  And a matching hat, I think.”

“Sir, will Mr. Duke be invited?”

“He was one of my biggest fans.  We see eye to eye.  And one last thing, I won’t be repeating the oath with the Justice, I’ll be Tweeting it out.  If people want to see it, have them look at Twitter.  I’ll be making some comments about people I don’t like who snuck in, too.”

“Sir, I don’t think you should take your iphone onto the platform.”

“You’re Fired!”

A Guest Column From Constitutional Scholar Lori Hepler

I was born into Kennedy's democratic republic that stood up to the Russian threat. Both democrats and republicans came together for equality, and passed both the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act. We fought the Vietnam 'conflict' to prevent Russia's communism from metastasizing to the rest of the world.

Today, I awoke in Obama's Vichy puppet state of Russia where robots matter more than people, and most of those people are too stupid to see that We the People no longer determine the destiny of our government. We have been invaded and conquered, and we didn't even realize it, let alone lift a finger to actually fight it.

We have a growing cancer inside us that is killing us. We are at Stage 5 in hospice right now. We have a little more than a month before the end.

This is a constitutional crisis. Obama knew and decided not to tell us, shrinking from the threats of a preposterous KY Turtle. How absurd! He has the power of the greatest nation on Earth, and he let us down.

A handful of democrats tried to sound an alarm, but it was far too little and it came too late. They knew the election was rigged in September, but they let us go through the motions pointlessly. Now, Schumer says we'll get around to it next year. No. Right now. Kill the cancer NOW.

Every GOP threw their 'better angels' in the trash bin, embracing everything Lincoln stood against, and gleefully handed our country to Putin's errand boy. Comey knew details of Russia's overthrow, and, in channeling J Edgar Hoover, he acted as a Russian agent to effectively assassinate Hillary Clinton. He should have been fired immediately. Now, he must be tried for treason.

Any elector that votes for Trump commits treason, defined as overthrowing our democratic form of government. Where the People's vote' does not represent their will because of deception, the election results are farcical. No state can certify, and no elector can vote. The election cannot go to the House where the GOP has acted with treasonous intent in nominating Trump.

Any republican that advocates for Trump is treasonous. Trump does not embody the will of the People. Lindsay Graham is the only one who speaks truth.

Any democrat who does not do everything possible to bar Trump from office right now commits treason as well. The senate intel senators, Cummings, and Schiff have led the way, but the others need to get in line. Any citizen who supports a GOP Trump Putin dictatorship is an enemy.

We all awoke in a state of war in the country of our birth, but now, is totally foreign to us. We must resist. The French woman I live with has been literally sick about this, and I failed to listen. I'm listening now. Merde! How could we be so blind, deaf, and dumb?

La Résistance used the Cross of Lorraine as its symbol during WW II. They were patriots. That fits, so I'm adopting it. This is a picture of a resistance armband showing the Cross. We must be patriots now. Viva La Résistance! NEVERTRUMP! Take back our country!

And finally, we bash the MSM, but without the few of them who report truth, we would still be ignorant. WaPo broke this, and Rachel, Lawrence, and Joy are blazing the trail. I don't have much use for the others.

Saturday Potemkin President Potpourri

Donald Trump:  The Potemkin President.

“In politics and economics, a Potemkin village (also Potyomkin village, derived from the Russian: Потёмкинские деревни, Russian pronunciation: [pɐˈtʲɵmkʲɪnskʲɪɪ dʲɪˈrʲɛvnʲɪ] Potyomkinskiye derevni) is any construction (literal or figurative) built solely to deceive others into thinking that a situation is better than it really is. The term comes from stories of a fake portable village, built only to impress Empress Catherine II during her journey to Crimea in 1787.”  (Wikipedia entry.)

Considering that Trump is a president quite possibly built by a Russian Dictator, this seems entirely appropriate.

Apparently, millions of Americans can't tell the difference between an Alpha Male and a Psychopath.

Isn't it awful that Hillary gave a speech to Goldman Sachs? Why, what if she'd ended up appointing some G-S people to the government?

Now Donald is saying that both his presidenting and his billionairing are such easy jobs, they are both part time, and he will do both at the same time. Constitution be damned.

Oh, and even doing both jobs will leave him plenty of time for Tweeting and Pussy Grabbing.

That darling of white evangelicals, Donald the Bong Man Trump, doesn't seem to know of the scripture about not being able to serve two masters.

In case you were wondering.

Article I, Section 9, Clause 8:

“No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States: and no person holding any office of profit or trust under them, shall, without the consent of the Congress, accept of any present, emolument, office, or title, of any kind whatever, from any king, prince, or foreign state.”

One of Aaron Burr's descendants just sent Donald Trump an invitation to meet him on the New Jersey shore at dawn.

I don't think he wants to show him new casino locations.

I learned in the Army to never volunteer for anything.

But, in the case of Trump's blacklist, I think I'll make an exception. It will be an honor to be on it. Sign me up.

(PS, Draft dodger Donald never learned anything in the Army.  He had a thingy on his foot that didn’t allow him to serve, but was quite OK for playing sports.)

We know, Trump is viciously attacking people, companies, and organizations that speak out against him. The only defense, really, is to not be intimidated. There is strength in numbers. Either we must ALL speak out, or none will be able to. We can't depend on journalists or "spokespeople."

How would you like to be the aide who has to try to explain law, the rule of law, and the expectation that our government be run in a legal manner, to The Donald?

I thought Trump was a first-class idiot. But compared to the people he's appointing, he's not even honorable mention

.

Special right-wing hypocrisy bonus comment:
I hope you've noticed, that the same fundamentalists who claim that statues of Mary, and Saints, and others in Catholic churches show that Catholics practice idol worship , are the same ones who demand Nativity Scenes on courthouse lawns .

"Constitutions and Contracts are Made for Breaking."

An aide came to Donald.  “Sir, before you take office, I’ve been asked to explain a few things to you.”

Donald snapped, “I’m in office, I was elected.”

“Sir, you aren’t actually president until you are sworn in on January 20^th.”

“Where does it say that.”

“It’s the law, Sir.  I’ve been asked to explain that, and this.”  The aide lays out a copy of the Constitution.

Donald explodes, “What the hell is that?  That’s nearly 15 pages long.  Just give me to top line, the Executive summary.”

“Sir, this is the Constitution.  It is the supreme law of the land.  It lays out your duties, obligations, and the rules of your power as president.”

”Rules?  What rules?  Why didn’t someone tell me about this Constitution thing before now?”

“Let me begin at the beginning.  Sir, there are three co-equal branches of government….”

“We’re not gonna use that liberal word anymore.”

“What word, Sir?”

“Equal.’  We’re not gonna say that crap anymore.  No one is equal to me.  No ideas are equal to mine.  ‘Equal’ is the word that has ruined America.  I’m gonna make America Great Again.  Have a hat.”

The aide sighed.  “We hold these truths to be self-evident………”

“Speak up.  What are you babbling about?  We don’t need all that paper.  I have the rules.  I know the rules.  I make the rules.  We’re gonna have new rules.  The best rules.  Rules that work for me.”

“Sir, you can’t just do that.  Right here, in Article II, Section 3, Clause 5, it says the president must see that all laws are faithfully executed.  It’s called the “take care clause,” and the courts have said….”

“Will you put that silly paper away, and quit babbling?  I’ll follow the laws, the good laws, the laws that work, the laws that make money.  I always follow any law that is convenient for me.”

“Sir, you really don’t have any choice.”

“The people gave me the choice.  My landslide is a choice.  They want me to do things.  Great things.  The best things.”

“Sir, you didn’t get a landslide.  In fact, Secretary Clinton actually got nearly 3 million more votes than you did.  Luckily for you, there’s a part of the Constitution called ‘The Electoral College’ that can put you in office.  It’s a technicality, but…….”

“See.  I’m just following the law.  A convenient law.”

“Now then, Sir, about your appointments.  You need to send them to the Senate for Advice and Consent.  They need to be approved by the legislature.”

“Says who?”

“The Constitution, Sir.  If you would please just read it, it explains a lot.”

“I don’t need explanations.  I have my own explanations.  Explanations from my brain.  My very good brain.  The best brain.   Say, would you get me the First Nookie, I mean, First Lady on the phone?  I’ll bet she’s never heard of this Constitution thing either.  She needs a laugh.”

“Sir, you can’t just laugh off the Constitution.”

“You’re Fired!”

Signs, Signs, Everywhere a Sign

Donald called in an aide.  It doesn’t matter which one, all minions are the same to him.

“When does my sign go up?” he demanded.

“What sign, sir?”

“The TRUMP sign on my new building there on Pennsylvania in Washington.”

“I’m sorry, sir, you aren’t allowed to make any changes to the outside of the White House.”

“Believe me, I can.  I can change it Bigly.  I have TRUMP on every one of my buildings world wide, and I’ll have it on that one.  By the way, White is sad.  Paint it gold.  With red trim.”

“Sir, you can’t.”

“I will.  And I’ll make Obama pay for it.  Call Putin for the paint for the red trim.  He has plenty of red paint, and he owes me.”

“Sir, you can’t ask for or accept gifts from foreign governments.”

“We’re gonna change that.  Why do you think I ran for president?  Bucks, boyo, big bucks in this ruler business. And right after you put my sign on that little cottage, I want you to paint TRUMP on my airplane.  Who ever thought ‘USA Air Force’ would look good on a plane?”

“Sir, I don’t think you can do that, either.”

“I don’t pay you to think.  I’m the one with the huge brain.  Really big brain.  The very best brain.”

“Mr. Trump, the plane doesn’t belong to you.  It belongs to the nation.  To the air force.  You just get the use of it while in office.”

“And I’m gonna be in office a long time.  A great time.  The best time.  Change the plane.  Or I won’t buy another.”

“Sir, the Constitution says……”

“I’m gonna build a wall, a giant wall, the best wall, all around the Constitution.  No one will get close to it again.

“And while you’re changing that sad, shabby house, put mirrors in my bedroom.  Big mirrors.  The best mirrors.”

“I thought Melania wasn’t going to live in the White House.”

“Who’s talking about Melania?  She’s 46.  Way past her sell-by date.  Believe me, even Ivanka is 35.  That’s older than a president has to put up with.”

“Sir?”

“Get me those mirrors.  I’ll say they aren’t up to my standards, and I won’t pay for them anyway.  And put the word out I’m auditioning for the next wife.  ‘World Leader’ has to be a hell of a Babe Magnet.”

“Sir, I really don’t think you can do any of that.”

“You’ll see.  If I say it, I can do it.  I even think I’ll grab Elizabeth Warren by her sad old pussy.”

“I don’t think you should do that, Sir.”

“You’re fired!”

Yes, it DOES mean “he ain’t a good man.”

In the book and the movie, “Prizzi’s Honor”, when mobster Charley finds out his “fiancé” is actually a mafia hit(person) from LA, and has stolen money from his mob family,  his friend Maerose counsels him, “Just because she’s a thief and a killer, that don’t mean she ain’t a good woman.”

I have thought of that a couple of times this week as Republican acquaintances insist that they are only supporting Trump because of certain parts of his stance, and hinting that we should take him as a “yes but” president, while demanding we, “give him a chance.” 

 You know what I mean by “yes but president.”  “Yes, he’s a bully, but he’s going to drain the swamp.”  (actually, no)  “Yes, he’s a fraud, but he’s going to shake up the establishment.”  (hey, a billionaire IS the establishment) And on, and on, demanding that only parts of “the package” count, and indicating they are willing to accept the bad to get what they see as the small, but essential, good.  What it all actually boils down to is, “Yes, but he’s a white Republican.”  Nothing else matters to them.  And that is not only the problem, but the root of the problem.

And, for the record, NO, I will not give him a chance.  Aside from the blatant double standard of that demand when taken in light of the total, intentional lack of “chance” the Republicans gave to President Obama, I will not give Trump a chance to recklessly send us into war, I will not give him a chance to trash Social Security and Medicare, I will not give him a chance to bring White Sumpremacist philosophy into the government, I will not give him a chance to hurt our LGBT brothers and sisters, I will not give him a chance to turn bank regulation over to the very bankers who wrecked the economy, I will not give him a chance to wreck the economy while looting the treasury for his own benefit.  No.  I will not give him a chance. Period.

If you are a so-called single-issue voter, who was/is willing to hold your nose and vote for a candidate (I won’t call Trump a “man”) who you think will deliver on your narrow interest, and whose other issues and deep problems you will ignore to get your way, be prepared to be screwed over. 

Trump isn’t going to cut the deficit.   Trump isn’t going to outlaw abortion. Trump isn’t going to “make America Great.”  Not only does he not have the power, he doesn’t have the will.  The man is a fraud (by his own $25 million admission), a thief, a liar, and a con man.  He is also an arrested-development narcissist who has been a bully all his life, and who has a hair trigger temper, and no self-control.  Not good traits in a national leader.  And, PS, I doubt you’d want your 18 year old daughter, granddaughter, or niece alone in a room with him.

His only real fiscal policy will be the flow of money from your pocket into his.  That is not a chance worth taking, or giving.

Grabel’s Law, and Trumpublican Math

Grabel’s Law states:  2 is not equal to 3, even at very large values of 2.

It is fun, and funny, because it pokes subtle fun at both math speak gobbledygook, and math ignorance.

Like many jokes, Grabel’s Law is also true, and reveals a hidden reality.  Some things will never equate. And mass, size, or volume of the competing items does not alter that. 

So, how does that apply to the Trumpublicans?  Well, restate Grabel’s Law this way:  “Dumb does not equal Smart, even at very large concentrations of Dumb.”  Or, “Blind Faith does not equal Science, even at firmly held concentrations of Blind Faith.”

Sadly, we are seeing two concentrations of Dumb on a previously unimaginable scale.  The first, of course, is in that portion of the electorate who were fooled by the con man, and voted for him based on a whole list of statements which, even before he takes the oath, we know, and he admits, he will not deliver. They hate the “elitist establishment”, yet were dumb enough to be tricked into somehow believing that a billionaire was neither an elitist nor a part of the establishment.  They were fooled, by media owned by the elite; by carefully crafted dog-whistle messages; and by Oligarchy money stretching from the Cayman Islands, to Wall Street, to the Kremlin, and elected the Oligarchy’s own candidate. They are going to get the hate and bigotry they so loved, they are just not going to get the specific walls, registries, repeals, and other agenda items.  As Indiana blogger and Public Affairs Professor Sheila Kennedy says, “The ugly truth is that most of his voters saw Trump’s bigotry, misogyny and authoritarianism as features, not bugs. They didn’t overlook his appalling behaviors—those were what attracted them.“  (By the way, that fact, and quote, are handy ammunition to have on hand when some “reasonable” Republicans try to tell you, “Give him a chance.”)  His voters, and all of us, are also going to get a looting of the public treasury and our own pockets at a scale not seen since the Robber Barons of the railroads and banks in the Nineteenth Century.

The other concentration of Dumb (if one can make a logical construction in which the absence of something—knowledge and thought in this case—can be somehow construed as concentrated.) is in the head of Donald, and the extended heads of his proposed appointees.

Regardless of the claims emanating from that anti-concentration, Donald DID NOT win in a landslide, in point of fact he didn’t win at all except perhaps on the technicality of the Electoral College—and that is modified with “perhaps” because we still have to see just how “rigged” the Republicans and the Russians managed to make the election.  Donald told us it was rigged, he just wasn’t specific about who was doing the rigging.  And, as candidate Trump would say, “Believe me, a casino owner knows about rigged games.  Bigly.”

So, don’t let Republicans grab and define the conversation.  Fight.  Use, and demand, fact.  If needed, hit them upside the head with a proverbial Clue by Four.  We can and must resist any triumph of dumb, and the hate and bigotry we see following in its wake. Resist.  Always. Everywhere.

Remember, and live by, the fact that in the real world, 2 is not greater than 3, and 2+2 still equals 4.  Remember the cries of the Labor movement and the Civil Rights movement, “The people, united, can never be defeated.”